Submitting

I don't really know what he likes.

I guess I'm in a hurry. At least more of a hurry than he is. To explore what he wants, what I want, where we click together, whether we actually do.

He's more laid back. It's funny, I always think of him as being that way. Very slow moving, very casual, probably a procrastinator. And it's possible that he's completely different. I don't really know him that well. But he certainly gives the impression of moving very slowly. Not even deliberately. He wants the world to think he doesn't care, that he's casual.

And I have assured him (and myself) that I'm not going to try to drive, not going to try to plan or organize him. I'm just going to relax and let him go as fast or as slow as he chooses.

So far, things are moving slowly. But really, it's delicious.

The anticipation is delicious.

The pleasure of it is delicious.

I'm happy I'm doing this.

Giving up control. I'm not sure I realized it. Letting him do when and how and what he wants to do.

I don't think I've ever done it quite this way.

Lying back, drifting, submitting. Offering. I'm definitely offering, and he definitely knows that.

Assuming that if he wants something from me, he knows he can ask.